


forget me not, my love

by Dame_de_la_Mort



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Character Death, Immortality, M/M, Time goes on, and people forget
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 00:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dame_de_la_Mort/pseuds/Dame_de_la_Mort
Summary: He knew it would come to this eventually. Jason just didn’t expect it to be so soon. (They both knew it would come to this, they didn’t speak of it.) Wonder-terror people do not die softly, fulfilled. Some people do not die at all.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	forget me not, my love

He knew it would come to this eventually. Jason just didn’t expect it to be so soon. (_They both knew it would come to this, they didn’t speak of it._) 

The Lazarus Pit had changed him, like it changed everyone who went through those waters. He now had more time than ever; more time than he ever wanted, and he could only dream of that green rage.

_ —— _

The day that Tim died was a cliché one, grey and raining and miserable. Red was enfolded in grey. The funeral was the same, except the umbrellas, they weren’t black and numerous, there were many colours. But, mostly, they were blue. _ (As blue as eyes that would not open ever again. It would have been so much easier if age had taken him quietly. But, that is not how sharp wonder-terror people die.) _

There was one thing that caught Jason’s eye at the funeral, something he could barely see through his tears. He thought he was _ meant _ to see it; the centrepiece of the funeral was a flower arrangement filled with forget-me-nots. Forget-me-nots and asphodel. 

(_Please don't forget me. I regret that I must make you remember, even lying in my final resting place.) _

Jason would try his best, that was all he could think as he lit the final cigarette of the box. The reading of Tim’s will was in two days. Tim had requested that centrepiece himself, before he was gone, one of many contingencies. Jason understood, and would try to heed his word, that was all he could do now. (_Try.) _His cigarette smoke faded away, he stubbed it out.

——

He knew he should leave, the Lazarus Pit had taken his mortality as its prize and he was no longer human; man or monster or both. He had to leave before the emotions in his heart took root and started to flower, before they became too permanent, before his ribs smouldered and charred from the burning of his heart and his bones warped and became but a trellis for the beautiful _ red _ fire flowers. But, he couldn’t - _ wouldn’t _ \- find a way to leave. 

He supposed this was his heart’s way of saying ‘_ this is already too permanent, Jason _.’

——

Tim had let him dream in technicolor again. _ (Rest, my darling.) _

Jason quit smoking, after that final cigarette of that final box. It felt apt, two addictions ending at once. There was still green in his dreams.

——

  
  


Sometimes, once years had passed and the ache of grief had faded from the forefront of his mind, Jason would forget the name of his love for days at a time. He would spiral, almost round the bend, searching through his journals trying to find it. How could he ever forget his soulmate’s name? 

Tim. His name was Tim. _ (Once you gain so much life, you should start journaling, it’s far too easy to forget.) _

And he was the love of his life, how could he ever forget him?

_ (There was more he was missing too, other people, _ places. _ Jason wished he had written down more, but no one really expects their memories to drift like off smoke. Losing yourself might be the most painful loss of them all, for as soon as you lose yourself, everyone else goes too.) _

——

Sometimes, in his dreams, all he could see was blue eyes and black hair, a soft voice spoke, telling him to rest. When he woke up he didn’t know why. _ (How old was he now?) _

——

Rainy days made him ache. One specific shade of blue made his heart rate increase exponentially. 

These were unrelated events.

—— 

Being immortal doesn’t give you a memory that will span your entire lifetime. 

You forget things, just like everyone else. The longer you live, the more you forget. The more you _ have _to forget.

——

Jason’s eyes caught on a piece of blue cloth floating in the breeze and he stuttered to a halt. That colour... it reminded him of something, something important, something he couldn’t quite remember. _ (Forget me not, my love.) _

He shrugged. It mustn’t have been that important. 

He moved on.

——

_ Jason, _

_ I’m starting this such a horrible way, but if you’re reading this I’m dead. Like, for real this time. _

_ My love, I’m giving you permission to forget me. Not the feeling of our love - I think that will always be with you in your heart - but me. You don’t have to live in pain forever, Jason. You’ve dealt with too much pain already. Maybe your mind won’t give you a choice, and time will take all your memories of me away from you, but don’t feel guilty. _

_ They say if you love someone, you should let them go, and this is me letting go. I’m letting you go. _

_ Be happy. Don’t grieve me forever. _

_ Love, _

_ Tim. _


End file.
